Confessions of a closet "evangelical" - part 1

I am taking a class on church planting at VTS this semester. I feel compelled to write about one topic that seems to have emerged over the past couple weeks, my fellow classmates general dismay and distaste at being labelled "evangelical." Our teacher has obviously noted our discomfort because the title of our class next week is "Why evangelism is NOT a dirty word (emphasis added)." He is trying to challenge us with this, and so I am going to beat him to the punch by writing out my thoughts ahead of next class period.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I grew up in what is commonly referred to as the "Evangelical Christian Right," listening to such leaders as James Dobson, Josh McDowell, and my personal favorite, Alan Keyes. I have since grown disillusioned and frustrated by what I perceive as a narrow form of judgmental and exclusive Christianity. Whether this perception is fair or not, it is the one I have and the one that I use to comfortably sit back and dis-engage myself from interacting with this group as much as I can. On a very general level, Evangelicals believe in an inerrant interpretation of the Bible, place high emphasis on a life of piety, and stake out concrete stands on what they perceive to be moral problems in (American) society as a whole - opposition to Abortion, opposition to gay rights, standing up for the traditional nuclear family - and fighting the increasingly secular nature of society in general. They are also known for approaching people and asking such questions as:

"If you died right now, do you know for sure that you would go to heaven?"

"Have you asked Jesus to be your personal Lord and Savior?"

"Are you saved?"

As well as variations on the above.

Now, I do not want to sound as if I am coming across extremely negative concerning "Evangelicals", because I work hard at NOT being negative towards them. I disagree with them on many issues, and can easily find myself frustrated when in conversation, however I still recognize that they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. We may understand everything differently - from morals and values, to the nature of the church and scripture - but to me we still worship and follow the same God, and same Lord, Jesus Christ.

So this brings me to my point. Over the past several years I have slowly started making my peace with the term "evangelical." Four or five years ago, I began to use the term when talking about the Christian faith and way of life, but would not have applied the term to myself. Sometime during the past couple years I began to realize that though my understanding of Christian theology and way of life has changed, it really hasn't. At my core, I still believe in an evengalical faith because I truly know that the message of God in Jesus Christ IS Good News! "Evangelical" is simply a word coming straight from the Biblical Greek that means, "good news". Whether I am comfortable with it or not, I am an evangelical.

I am ending now with a couple questions especially directed towards my fellow Episcopalians. Why do the majority of those of us left in the Episcopal Church have such a negative reaction to the term evangelical? Who are we focusing on in our use of that word - James Dobson or Jesus Christ? What does an "evangelical" Episcopalian look like? My own attempts to answer those questions will be the subject of my next post.

A new beginning... sort of.

Well, well. It appears that my discipline of blogging stalled for the past several months. Good thing I believe in second (and third, and fourth, etc...) chances. ;-)

Much has happened over the past 8 months since I last posted anything here. Amy and I celebrated our 10th anniversary just a few weeks ago on July 31, which was also the day before we moved to Alexandria, VA. I began classes at VTS this past week. This has been a very interesting time in our life together as a family as well as my own inner journey.

One of the advantages of living in NoVA is that there are so many things to do and see in this area. This afternoon we took the boys across the river to DC to the Air and Space Museum. We travelled by Metro and it was great to be with Jonathan, Micah and Elijah, as it was their first time on the Metro. Honestly, I think they enjoyed the journey to the museum more than the museum itself. This got me thinking, with all the changes taking place around me, how will I react to the journey set before me? I can tell you already that it is tempting to duck my head down and do everything possibly to simply "get through" these next couple of years with the end goal being ordination. However, I don't think that is the goal at THIS moment. Instead of thinking too much about what will come and what may or may not be, I am called first and foremost to live fully in this present moment - to make the most of life as I find myself on the journey.

I think this is something that we are all called to do. Instead of living for our future goals (which I DO believe we should set), we are called to live life as best we can in this moment, the present. If we do that, the journey can be as exciting and fulfilling as our destination.

MLK Day

My friend Kevin posted a tough post about not celebrating MLK Day. Give it a read because it is certainly worth a lot of thought. And seeing as this is MLK Day here is a link to his, "Letter from a Birmingham Jail." Read it, meditate upon it, and then act upon it.

The Universal Body of Christ

Today I finished reading Philip Jenkins new book, The Lost History of Christianity. As a student of Christian history, I have ot confess that much of hte subject matter that Jenkins dealt with, I was un-familiar with. He describes the story of the church that moved east, outside of and away from the Roman Empire - the churches that are called Nestorain and Jacobite, the Churches of the East. Appearently, there was a great and flourishing missionary church that survived for centuries under the Rule of Islam and various other states and cultures (China, India, and even Tibet).

Jenkins offers much in the way of analysis of the reasons that these "other" christian communities survived for so long, and then ultimatley, why they have almsot all disappeared (the Copts of Egypt being a notable exception). I couldn't help but feel that we are missing something in western Christianity by being so ignorant of this other aspect of our Christian family. While reading this book, I felt my sense of the depth and breadth of the church grew immensly.

Which is interesting. the other night I was walking and I felt overcome by a strong impression of the connected-ness of the church. Several people had been praying for me regarding my meeting with Bishop Curry and him granting me postulancy or not. While I walked, I could feel the support, love, and earnest prayers of those who care about me and have supported me over the past several years. I truly felt then that I was a part of somthing bigger than myself, that if I became a postulant, and then hopefully a priest, it would be because of the people around me. I can not explain it very well, but there was something mystical about it. That same feeling hit me again as I finished this book tonight. Indeed, we are a part of something much larger than ourselves. Our life and work, destiny and hope are all found in being a part of the universal body of Christ, the family of faith that spans time, culture, and language.

A prayer for today

God,

For what I have today,
I give you thanks

For who I am today,
I give you thanks

For where I am today,
I give you thanks

For those who care about me today,
I give you thanks.

Lord,

Give me the grace and the mercy I need
to live graciously today.
Help me love the unloveable;
Give to those who are selfish
and forgive those who will never
forgive me
Give me the eyes to see that
I can be unlovable, selfish, and unforgiving at times
but you won't give up on me.

God,

Help those of us who claim you as our God
sow the seeds of peace,
love,
forgivness,
justice,
and hope

Let our joy be found in working for your kingdom
and in knowing you as you know us
Let us love,
as you have loved us.

Today, let this be my prayer,

- Amen

A Festival of Lights, Sort of

St. Timothy's did not have a Festival of Lights service this year on Epiphany as we have had previously. That got me thinking about doing a time with the youth on Wednesday night (last night) where we experienced themes of light and darkness. I spent much of the afternoon yesterday preparing the youth room, removing chairs, setting up candles, putting up black sheets around the room, etc. My goal was to create the right atmosphere to best bring out the contrast of light and dark. My room was not completely set up but was most of the way ready when I had to get ready for youth band practice.

Band practice ends at 6pm, which gives us all just enough time to grab a plate during the Wednesday dinners, and would have allowed me that extra 10 minutes needed to arrange everything perfectly back in the youth room. that would not be the case on this night. As we were finishing up youth band in the chapel and packing everything up the lights went out. Just like that we went from joking and having a good time to a sense of frustration at the audacity of the electricity to go out as it had. We had all frozen in place and then each of us pulled out our cell phones to give us some light so we could find our way out of the chapel. I had figured that the power would be out across the campus, but didn't really think about all the people eating dinner in now dark Drake Hall, until we started walking down that way. as soon as we entered Drake, I took a look inside and realized that people were all still calmly sitting at their tables, however you could feel the tension rising in the room.

As I was looking into the room, a couple of the youth were walking out and I told them to come with me. We went into the youth room, where I had previously set out 20-25 candles and had two lighters waiting the be used. I started lighting candles and they didn't need to be told what to do. One of the boys picked up the other lighter and started lighting as well. After we had lit more than we could each carry, we made our way back into the big room where the vast majority of people were still sitting. Some people had found flashlights and people in the room were using their cell phones as light, as I had done in the chapel. That was the light in the room as we walked in carrying candles. We quickly started placing candles in the middle of tables where people were sitting and then left to get more. This time we were followed by several other people who helped carry light back into Drake. After a few minutes each table had at least one candle, and most had two.

The symbolism and significance of what happened last night was not lost on me. Even though we were acting quickly simply to get candles into Drake, we were in essence holding a festival of light unknown to us. I can imagine the people at dinner were talking, laughing, eating, and general enjoying themselves, and then darkness happened. I was told that several of the kids screamed (including some of the youth), and for a split second it must have been a bit scary for everyone. If not scary, than irritating at the least. While people were sitting in darkness into the room comes light. First flashlights, which shone specifically where they were pointed. Then came the candles, which gave a soft light where ever they were set. People were once again at ease, the tension began to slowly dissipate. By the time most people left, a feeling of peace had settled over Drake. Without any liturgy, we had lived out and experienced a festival of lights and we didn't even realize it.

There is more I can draw out of this situation. As we carried candles into Drake hall, we were bringing light into the dark. Looked at from a biblical perspective, that’s what evangelism is. Sharing the good news is simply being willing to carry your candle and set it down at someone else’s table so that they also can see. While those in darkness in the world around us are worried, anxious, irritated, and for all practical purposes blind, we have been entrusted with a light to share with them. That is our calling as Christians, to live our lives so that perhaps a few more people can see God clearer and a little more light will have entered this world.

Matthew 5:14-16: You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Your light has filled our lives,
But we have not shared it with others.
Lord, have mercy on us.
You have marked us as your own in baptism,
But we have not lived as your faithful people.
Christ, have mercy on us.
You have called us to be a light to the nations,
But we have hidden our light under a bushel.
Lord, have mercy on us.
Transform us by the power of your Holy Spirit
So that we may live out our baptism
As your new cration,
Forgiven and made whole by your matchless love
In Jesus Christ our Lord.
Thanks be to God! Amen.

Hello 2009: ground rules

I have started and stopped blogging many times before, but in an effort that I hope won't prove futile this time, I am going to give it another shot. For me, this time it will take the approach of more as a spiritual disciplne than as a new years resolution or somthing to do simply for the fun of it. I have felt the need for quite a while now to put my thoughts and feelings down somewhere, as well as to share and comment on different things that others have put out there.

And so with that said, here are my ground rules:

#1 - I don't feel compelled to make a post everyday. Sme days there will be a post; other days, there might be 4 or 5. Still other days I may not post at all. However, I will try to commit to not ever going any longer than a week between posts.

#2 - This is going to take the shape of more of a spiritual journal for myself. As such, please feel free to comment or offer your own opinions. However if you do, please remember that I am writing this for me, not for you or anyone else.

#3 - I can't think of anything now, but reserve the right to come up with a third ground rule at some future date. It seems better to me to have three ground rules and not simply two. Three somehow seems more complete... like the Trinity.

Thats it for ground rules. I am looking forward to the many changes that are ahead in mine and my family's journey during 2009. It will certainly be a big year.